Celebrate your pooch

Friday, December 23, 2011

Uh oh. It’s almost Christmas and you forgot to buy a present for your dog. This is not good. Your dog will be upset. Your children will be upset.

“Aw, mom, you forgot Poochie.”

Despair not. Quickly grab a card for Poochie and write this in it: “Dear Poochie, because we love you so much and think you are the most beautiful/handsome dog in all of Bedford, we have entered your photo in the town clerk’s 2012 ‘Poster Dog’ contest. Because we know that you will win, we can think of no better present.”

Poochie will buy it because, after all, dogs are the most conceited animals on the planet. They expect, for instance, unlike the noble cat, that you will bathe them, so they never bother to clean themselves and even, to make your task more interesting, roll around in interesting stuff when you take them outside.

Once Poochie wins, he/she will have his/her picture on all of the 2012 dog license campaign materials that will be put out by Town Clerk Lori Radke. We don’t know what the posters will say, but we have a few suggestions:

(Picture of Poochie wearing Uncle Sam outfit and pointing toward the camera): I want YOU to get a license.

(Picture of Poochie being led away in pawcuffs by police): Don’t let this happen to you. Tell your master to get you licensed today.

Isn’t this fun? Poochie will really love you for this present. Unless he/she doesn’t win, then he/she will just figure you for a present-forgetter and chew up your favorite pair of slippers.

Well, all you can do is try. So, take a fascinating picture of your beautiful/handsome dog and send a PDF or jpg to Radke at lradke@bedfordnh.org.

And if Poochie doesn’t win and demands a late present, well, shop locally.