Toddler talk is charming at home, but not so much in public

Thursday, January 12, 2012

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There is nothing quite as endearing as a toddler who is beginning to talk. The first time a baby says “Momma” is heartwarming, but having an actual conversation with a not-quite 2-year-old is simply enchanting.

It can be frustrating, however, when a toddler cannot fully convey whatever it is they are trying to communicate. In times of illness, a baby might cry and scream uncontrollably without being capable of telling you what is wrong or hurting. Incessant crying for no apparent reason leaves a parent feeling completely helpless and frantically searching for an instruction booklet. The old theory of “crying it out” does not offer any solace when your pressure scale is off the charts. When in doubt, I always offer love. I’ve been chastised for holding my babies too much. I was thrilled to read a report last week stating that babies who are constantly held are less apt to become drug addicts. I knew my diligence would pay off one day.

Yet some parts of a budding vocabulary can be quite dangerous. My almost 2-year-old has several favorite words: “Gage” (big brother), “candy” and “boobie.”

Whenever little Nadia does something bad and is about to get into trouble, her first reaction is to loudly yell, “Gage!” If she needs juice or a blanket, she also will yell the names of her entire family until someone brings her what she wants. First it is “Gage!” If that does not work, she quickly moves on to “Apen” (for Aspen), “Mommy!” “Daddy!!” and “Lexi!” By the time she gets back to Gage, you can see the tiny veins in her neck popping out. Zero to 90 in a two-year-old model is pretty darn impressive.

Ever since Halloween, our house has been inundated in candy. Only, to Nadia, it is not just candy; it is “my candy.” She has discovered every possible hiding spot in our home. She is well-versed at moving chairs, scaling boxes, opening doors and chewing straight through just about any wrapper. She quickly can be coaxed into doing almost anything with one magic word. In moments of sanity, I often wonder, “What have we created?”

Nadia had nearly stopped nursing when her baby brother Ryder was born. She quickly figured out that a new addition had taken over her former duties. On our first day home, she watched intently as Ryder and I settled into our rocker so he could be fed. It took all of two minutes for her to join us in that chair, adamantly demanding her fair share. “My boobie? My boobie. My boobie!”

Ryder already is learning to take turns and protect his turf. That rocker has now become “boobie chair,” and I am led to it by her adorable hand multiple times each day. Nadia will jockey for position if I try to nurse Ryder alone. I swear, I never imagined I would be one of those tandem nursing moms.

Nadia seems to know which words will provoke the fastest response in public. I’ve attempted to take her to a couple of movies at Chunky’s since Ryder joined our family. This theater allows for children to get their energy out before the movie, relaxing in big, comfy chairs and enjoying kid’s meals. Unfortunately, the only meal Nadia has been interested in during our ventures is the one that only I can provide. On our last visit, as the waiter took our orders, Nadia proudly blurted out to him, “Boobie!” I smiled meekly and said, “Priceless?”

Last week, she and I were on a rare solo venture to Market Basket. I was frantically trying to grab everything I needed in as short of a time frame as possible. Suddenly, I noticed she was chanting the same thing over and over. I listened intently, only to hear, “Poo-poo, potty chair! Poo-poo, potty chair! Poo-poo, potty chair!” It was my fastest visit to the grocery store ever.