Dumb move, kids

Thursday, December 10, 2009

One would think that, given all the recent publicity about arrests at underage drinking parties, teenagers would either decline to become involved in one or … well, there really shouldn’t be an “or.” Just don’t do it would be the best advice.

Yet there were the Merrimack police recently, raiding an alleged underage drinking party on Seaverns Bridge Road and rounding up what our reporter referred to as “13 young adults.” Young lunkheads would be more like it.

People, people, people, what are you thinking? OK, well, you’re not thinking, that’s clear.

Let’s assume for the sake of argument that inviting 12 of your underage friends to come over and drink is a brilliant idea, at least on the surface. Why, though, would you assume that your 12 friends who probably aren’t really used to drinking won’t drink a bit too much and do something stupid? Like make noise that will cause the neighbors to call the police?

And what will the police do? Why, they’ll drop by and bust you all. Of course, they might politely ask if everyone holding a beer is over 21 and you, of course, will be forced to come up with some clever answer like: “Um …” And the police just might to ask to see everyone’s ID and then, voila, they will discover, much to their shock and surprise, that not only is not everyone 21, NO ONE is.

Holy bad idea, Batman.

So even if you think that inviting 12 of your closest pals to drop by and booze it up is just the height of fantastic ideas, think a step further and try to figure out just exactly why you believe you’re going to get away with it.

And while you’re at it, think about this: Suppose one of those really great friends drives off and kills himself with a belly full of your beer. Or, worse, kills somebody else. Guess who gets to eat the really incredible lawsuit. You. Or, if you’re too young to be sued, your parents. Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.

Come on, holding an underage drinking party is just stupid and you know it, so don’t do it.