Yeah, they’re all schmucks

Sometimes it’s just too easy, and that was the case in determining March’s SCHMUCK OF THE MONTH.

The honor goes – absolutely no contest – to Washington, D.C., Councilman Trayon White, Sr. who recently posted a video in which he warned of “climate manipulation” and blamed the Rothschilds, a Jewish business dynasty long the target of anti-Semitic conspiracies.

Then, of course, this schmuck apologized, claiming to work “very closely” with the Jewish community — but probably not any Rothschilds — “and (I) never want to offend anyone, especially with anti-Semitic remarks.”

Oh? Really?

That’s a relief. Stupid me, I thought that claiming the Rothschilds were manipulating the climate was offensive and anti-Semitic but if he never wants to offend anyone, I must be wrong.

Oh, and this potatohead said his Jewish friends — yeah, some of his best friends are … — are helping him realize that his comments on Facebook were rooted in anti-Semitic thought that dates back centuries, according to a story on BBC News.

And he said, “I see I should not have said that after learning from my colleagues.”

Really? This nitwit got elected to the Washington, D.C., City Council? He believes the Rothschilds — and probably other members of the INTERNATIONAL ZIONIST CONSPIRACY (I’m an auxiliary member, what with not being Jewish) — can manipulate the weather but he has to learn from his colleagues that saying stupid things is STUPID?

Oh, he is so the SCHMUCK OF THE MONTH.

Now the BBC puts all of this into perspective by pointing out that conspiracy theorists “allege that the Rothschilds, in conjunction with the famed American Rockefeller family, use technology to secretly manipulate the weather.”

The Rockefellers. Why not the Kennedys? The Koch brothers? The Blues Brothers? The Captain and Tennille?

Maybe they’re all in it together.

In what, you ask? Who knows? But something. The great THEY is always conspiring against people who think they’re being conspired against. Like conspiracy theorists who aren’t really “theorists” in the intellectual sense of the word. They are “theorists” in the paranoid sense of the word, to be sure, and no one is more paranoid than Councilman Trayon White.

But let’s parse this some more: Let us assume that somebody has the ability to manipulate the climate. How would we determine who that is? Simple. By determining who has the most to gain.

That being the case, it is clear that the people with the most to gain are the people who sell snowblowers, snow shovels, and anything that one needs to get rid of snow.

They are the culprits.

Unless the culprits are the people who sell beach stuff — umbrellas, beach balls, stupid flying discs, bathing suits.

They are the culprits.

Unless the Rothschilds, and maybe the Rockefellers (or the Captain and Tennille) own the companies that make anti-snow stuff and pro-beach stuff.

Then THEY are actually the culprits and Trayon White is a national hero. And he probably is to the other members of the Nation of the Slobbering Paranoid.

One thing we need to remember, though, as we write off Trayon White and his ilk as just nutburgers:

Remember who made a political career out of blaming Jews for just about everything wrong with his society?

Yep.

HITLER.

Anyway, fortunately for Trayon White the votes for SCHMUCK OF THE MONTH were in before we saw this CNN online account of the Illinois Republican primary:

“Washington (CNN)A Holocaust denier is now officially the Republican nominee in a Chicago-area House race after running unopposed in Tuesday’s primary.

“Arhur Jones’ campaign website includes a section titled “Holocaust?” and he has been involved with anti-Semitic and racist groups since the 1970s, according to the Anti-Defamation League.

“The Illinois Republican Party denounced Jones’ campaign earlier this year, saying there is “no place for Nazis like Arthur Jones” in the GOP or the country.

“The National Republican Congressional Committee, which is leading the party’s effort to keep the House in November, will not endorse Jones, NRCC spokesman Matt Gorman said.”

Oh, kids, let’s parse this, too: “No place for Nazis like Arthur Jones,” eh? Then why did he run unopposed? No Illinois Republican thought he or she could beat a “Nazi”? The Nazi vote in Illinois’ GOP primary is just too strong? No point in running against Artie, he’s got the Nazi vote locked up.

Oh, and the National Republican Congressional Committee won’t endorse him? Oh, the courage. Wow, that spokesman Matt Gorman is gutsy. He has no fear of the Nazi vote. Of course, he probably doesn’t live in Illinois.

Come on, people: The guy’s a bust out Nazi, according to the Illinois GOP, and nobody runs against him in the primary? What? He’s one of the good Nazis?

Well, it’s a pity that Trayon White got in early for SCHMUCK OF THE MONTH because we could have had a three-way tie between:

Arthur Jones.

The Illinois Republican Party.

The National Republican Congressional Committee.

Yeah, they’re all schmucks.

Just not schmucks of the month. This month. Chances are they’ll do something else schmucky before long.

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