Some random tidbits

All righty, then. Let’s look at some headlines from the New York tabloids, and one from The Hill, from last week.

First, from The Hill’s website:

“Fla. police chief told officers to pin unsolved crimes on random black people.”

Friends, talk about proactive police work. Well … The problem I’m having is, I can’t think of a name for this. We know we have driving while black, campaigning while black, delivering newspapers while black, but this one?

Wait: How about the crime of BEING BLACK WHILE BLACK. Yep.

COP: Hold it right there, lady.

WOMAN: Yes, officer?

COP: I’m arresting you for the robbery of a liquor store on 12th Street last month.

WOMAN: Last month? I spent the entire month in the hospital.

COP: Let’s add lying to a police officer to the robbery charge.

WOMAN: But the hospital has a record of my stay.

COP: Let’s add falsifying hospital records to the robbery and lying charges.

WOMAN: Are you arresting me because I’m black?

COP: Well, duh.

If nothing else, this Florida town will have the best crime clearance rate in the nation and eventually this will be noticed by Donald Trump who will invite the police chief to the White House, where he will be celebrated as a champion of law and order and named attorney general of the United States.

And America will be great. Again.

And then there’s Cristiano Ronaldo. Now you know I am a fan of Portugal’s national futbol squad and that Ronaldo is an integral part of that squad and that what he did in the first round of World Cup, especially against Spain, was incredible. But …

The Italian futbol team Juventus has agreed to pay him $64.5 million A YEAR to occasionally pop a soccer ball into a net. Yes, he will accomplish that at what for futbol is a decent, even remarkable, rate but it’s still going to work out to more than $1 million per goal because even Ronaldo can’t score 64 goals in a single season.

It’s bad enough that a potato like David Price makes $31 million a year to pitch for the Red Sox, but that’s not even half of what Ronaldo is going to make.

I like Ronaldo. Not as much as I like Edinson Cavani and Luis Suarez, but I like him. I don’t begrudge him a really, really good salary (I do begrudge him his incredible good looks, though; can you blame me?) but $64.5 million for one year?

Is there a limit to how much money a sports star can make? If Ronaldo, who is 33, can make $64.5 million, what will Neymar, Brazil’s best player, who is only 26, get when he is, say, 30? Let us assume that Neymar continues to be brilliant (if he would only stop flopping, the flopper) and is eventually considered the world’s best player. If Ronaldo got $64.5 million in 2018, what will Neymar get in 2022, especially if Brazil were to win the World Cup stupidly being played in Qatar? $100 million a year?

Sports salaries in the U.S. continue to rise. The salaries of corporate executives continue to rise? Have you gotten a raise lately?

Well, it’s your own damn fault for not being a star athlete. When will you ever learn?

And then there was the drunk screaming at a woman wearing a shirt bearing the flag of Puerto Rico and the cop who stood by and did nothing when the woman asked him to intervene. Well, the drunk’s been busted on a hate crime beef and the cop resigned rather than face a disciplinary hearing.

But what the heck is going on? This kind of thing is happening more and more and if you don’t think it’s because it’s tolerated, if not encouraged, by those noodniks in D.C. who are supposed to be shining examples of the American ethos, then you’ve got your head in the sand (best case scenario).

The drunk was either so drunk or so stupid that he didn’t know that Puerto Ricans are American citizens. Yes, kids, Puerto Rico might still be “just” a territory of the U.S., but its citizens are American citizens. Maybe the drunk needed another drink to help him figure that out.

People seem to think it’s cool to scream at people who look … what? Not white enough? Not American enough? What’s American enough, anyway?

And the cop? He stands there and does nothing while a woman is verbally assaulted?

COP: Ah, c’mon. He’s just screaming at her a little. What’s the big deal? And she’s not really an American, you know. I don’t care what the law says. She’s Puerto Rican. That’s not American. That’s Puerto Rican. Didn’t you guys see “West Side Story”? The Jets knew.


What was it that Barry Goldwater said when he voted against the 1964 Civil Rights Act? “You can’t legislate morality”? Something like that. Well, no, you can’t legislate morality, but you can legislate behavior.

Maybe what we need is more drunk tanks.

This headline from one of the New York tabloids: “Teacher accused of kissing student in class, sending nude photos, gets fired.”

OK, look, how stupid can you be? How many times do you, as a teacher, have to read or hear about teachers getting busted for sexually assaulting students (it is assault, you know) before you, as a teacher, get the message that it’s a bad thing to do?

You know what’s really weird? Remember when – and this was a fairly long time ago – people would go bonkers if they discovered that their kid’s teacher was gay? Oh, yeah, he’s gay, that means my kid is going to be a target.



Read about teachers sexually assaulting (and it is assault) students, or even running away with them, and it’s an opposite sex thing. Feel better now?

Teachers are, in the vast, vast majority, really decent people, but you have to wonder about the ones like the woman referenced in the headline above. Just stupid? Obtuse? What? She didn’t realize she might get caught? She didn’t realize that the student was going to mention to someone …

STUDENT: Yeah, Ms. Schnoogah and I, yeah, we got a thing goin’ on.

Kids are always circumspect.

And, of course, kids should say something, preferably to a parent and then the parent should say something to the school principal and then the principal should launch an investigation.

But doesn’t all of this make you want to go screaming into the night? Yeesh. It’s all kinda creepy. Well, not Ronaldo; that’s just … a bit much.