Congress should have better things to do

Is it over? Finally? Because I’m sick of the Mueller investigation and the whole Russian thingy that apparently has gone nowhere, so let’s knock it off and start doing the people’s real business, which is to say enacting laws that help real people, not Donald Trump’s buddies who probably have more money than he.

Leave it to the states like New York to deal with any Trumpian wrongdoing. Congress should have better things to do.

Of course I have little hope that Republicans really want to do the business of real people, but I suppose little hope is better than no hope and somewhere in Congress there has to be a Republican who believes the middle class is of some value.

So, onward and upward and let’s hope Mitch McConnell and his ilk grow consciences. Perhaps we could fertilize them.

Oh, and all you people who, being Trumpian, distrusted Mueller? Guess you couldn’t recognize an honest man, what with basking in the Trumpian aura. How many lies has the Washington Post counted now? So many that all his pants have burned.

• Hey, so Donald Trump wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act and so far no one has joined the word “Repeal” with the word “Replace” and that, I know, makes you think that millions of people will suddenly wind up with no health insurance but, of course, you’re wrong because Republicans, of course, already have a new care act in place and it’s name is:

Nothing.

DONALD TRUMP: Tonight I am proud to sign into law the first Republican affordable health care plan. The Nothing plan will give people health care they can afford: nothing. It harkens back to the old days when health care was the province of people who could afford health care or who worked for companies that cared about the health of their employees, which was, of course, just stupid. As if that’s our job. Yoicks. Anyway, the new Nothing plan is the kind of plan everyone can use and understand. It doesn’t involve a lot of crazy, confusing things like doctors or nurses or hospitals or medicine, so there are, I’m proud to say, no deductables. So, sign up for Nothing today so that by tomorrow, you can have Nothing. The Nothing plan: It’s the Republican way.

• I’m working on the lyrics for a new song, sure to be a hit. I haven’t worked out the tune yet but here are the lyrics I’ve got so far. Sing it your way:

“Betsy DeVos, Betsy DeVos, wants to throw the Special Olympics for a loss.

“She says these kids who need a bit of help ought to just sell cupcakes and raise the bread themselves.

“But before she could shout, ‘Let ’em sell cake,’ Donald Trump jumped in and said that she was half-baked.

“And now Betsy’s whining to her rich friends on the yacht, ‘I thought I got to make the rules, but now I guess not.”

Yep, a work in progress.

Still, gotta give DeVos a hand for chutzpah. First she says she wants to cut all federal funding for Special Olympics. Then when the press reports what she said, she accuses reporters and lawmakers of being “shameful” and “counterproductive.” Then she admitted the reporting was accurate.

Yes, friends, accurate reporting is indeed shameful and counterproductive, because it shames noodniks like DeVos and is counterproductive to their plan to continue to shaft the middle class.

• Man, wouldn’t you like to have the pull that Jussie Smollett has? Here’s what conservative columnist Michael Graham wrote about it:

“How do you lie to the police, smear an entire city, exploit decades of racial violence suffered by black Americans … and get away with it? … Most Americans gasped aloud when they heard (Smollett) was getting a pass after allegedly faking a #MAGA-hat hate crime, noose and all.”

Not me. Not a single gasp did I gasp. Because I know if you’re famous, you’re gonna get away with it. OK, OJ.

And it gets better. Here, according to Graham, is what Cook County, Ill, prosecutor Joe Magats said after the Smollett charges were dropped:

“We believe he did what he was charged with doing. This was not an exoneration. To say he was exonerated by us or anyone else is not true.”

They just ain’t gonna take him to trial and try to convict him.

Anyway, now Donald Trump is threating to get the FBI to investigate. This is the same FBI that is harboring, or has harbored, folks he considers traitors because they investigated him, but maybe he can find some true patriots to go after Smollett. I actually hope so.

As Jim Braude said on WBGH radio last week, “This thing is so rife with corruption of one form or another.” Then he wondered: “There’s no defendant in this country who isn’t saying, ‘Why can’t I get the same deal Jussie Smollett got’?”

Yeah, why not?

But, anyway, Smollett now says he didn’t fake the attack on him and that should be good enough for you and me ’cause he’s on television.

And, of course it gets better: Chicago is demanding that Smollett pay the city $130,000, the cost of investigating him.

So, first they believe he was the subject of a racially motivated attack. Then they charge him with orchestrating the attack and lying to police. Then they decide not to prosecute him even though, they say, he really, really did it. And they want him to pay, even though they didn’t prosecute him.

Listen, if this works out, it’s a money maker for cities all over the nation: Charge some guy you are sure did something, decide not to prosecute, then make him pay the cost of the investiation. Plus, of course, interest. Lots and lots of interest.

• The three saddest songs I can think of at the moment in, I think, order:

1. Jesse by Janis Ian.

2. Kilkelly by Peter Jones.

3. Try to Remember from The Fantasticks.

If you don’t know them …

Oh, that reminds me of this from a Peter, Paul and Mary concert. They were doing “Puff the Magic Dragon” and were, of course, wanting the audience to participate in one of those embarrassing sing-a-longs, so Peter Yarrow did this verse:

“Together we can sing it, it’s just a children’s song.

“And if you do not know the words,

“You’d better learn them.”

The last with a menacing voice. Got a laugh.

• Quote of the week from William Shatner as Denny Crane on “Boston Legal”:

“You don’t plan sincerity. You’ve gotta make it up on the spot.”

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