BEDFORD – John Halligan held back tears and spoke emotionally as he shared with students the painful story of his 13-year-old son, Ryan.

He and wife, Kelly Halligan, lost Ryan to suicide on Oct. 7, 2003.

After much research following Ryan’s death, the Halligans learned he was ridiculed and humiliated by peers at school and online in the months leading up to his death.

Ross A. Lurgio Middle School and Bedford High School students were treated to an assembly about “Ryan’s Story,” hosted by the Bedford PTG, on Friday, Nov. 12. A presentation for adults was held that evening.

Halligan told of a three-year saga that began for his son in fifth grade because he had a hard time in the classroom academically and was in special education. Halligan described his son as “a tad bit awkward and not an athlete.”

The couple initially dealt with it like many parents tend to do, thinking, “Just walk away and then you won’t get bullied.”

In seventh grade, Halligan said, Ryan fought the bully and won, but problems escalated months later when a series of online messages by groups of peers led to rumors of Ryan being gay.

“The computer became an addiction for my son,” Halligan said. “All he wanted to do was instant message.”

One day, Ryan decided to take his life to end the agony, Halligan said.

At the time of his death, Ryan was an eighth-grade student in Essex Junction, Vt.

Halligan emphasized to students that there are people who love them no matter what.

“Trust me on this one,” Halligan said. “Don’t ever believe for a second that you don’t matter, because you are loved. Not everyone comes from a perfect family situation, but there are people in your lives who love you, and don’t take that for granted.”

When no suicide note was left, Halligan ripped apart his son’s room and locker searching for clues. Eventually, the couple went to the websites Ryan visited and to his AOL account, which led to a remarkable set of conversations between Ryan and peers.

Halligan was stunned to learn that his son was called a homosexual at school and learned from a student that Ryan would hide in the bathroom and cry, withdrawing from his friends.

“The pain and humiliation he felt as people laughed at him and made fun of him at school was tremendous,” Halligan said. “When rumors went viral, Ryan Halligan put an end to his short life.

“It is easy to hide behind a screen and say things that you would never say face to face. The problem is epidemic. There are no time machines to take back the things we say and do.”

Feeling a need to take action, Halligan realized his only options were to “be angry, kill the kids that did this to my son, or take action.”

He is now an advocate for bully prevention.

In memory of his son, Halligan spearheaded the Vermont Bully Prevention bill, which was signed into law in May 2004, only a few months after Ryan’s death. He also successfully led the passage of the law pertaining to mandatory suicide prevention education in public schools in April 2006.

“I just feel that he hit the mark when he appealed to kids and how they behave when kids are not around,” Lurgio Principal Ed Joyce said. “This was a real call for a change of conscience.

“I just feel that it is one of the essential parts of running the schools: We are responsible for a social curricula, as well an academic curriculum. Although bullying right now is on (media) overload, we can never provide enough opportunities to educate. This was just another way to reach more kids, bringing in Mr. Halligan.”

“I thought it was really powerful and strong,” Lurgio student Kristen Barnett said. “I think that many people will take away a different perspective on bullying.”

Halligan concluded by reminding the students that it’s important to look at perspective.

One can “always turn an inkblot in to a butterfly,” he said. “You can always turn a mistake into a lesson learned and a bad situation into something good.”