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Some random thoughts

• My favorite day-after-the-election headline comes to us from the CNN web site:

“GOP congressman, who lamented not being able to call women ‘sluts,’ loses to a woman”

Ah, sometimes irony is just too cool for words.

It was Rep. Jason Lewis of Minnesota who, after dorko Rush Limbaugh called a woman in the news “a slut,” said this:

“But it used to be that women were held to a little bit of a higher standard. We required modesty from women. Now, are we beyond those days where a woman can behave as a slut, but you can’t call her a slut?”

Idiot. We used to require a higher standard from men, you know. Fortunately, it’s still OK to call mysoginists “MYSOGINISTS!” Fine higher standard we have for our president, eh?

Take that, FORMER Rep. Jason Lewis of Minnesota.

• How do you answer when your doctor asks you, “On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s the pain level?”

C’mon, doc, gee, how am I supposed to judge that? Well, here are some suggestions for comparative pain levels:

10. Cutting off my leg with a serated saw without providing any anesthetic.

9. Dropping an anvil on my foot.

8. Listening to Sarah Sanders lie again.

• Why do sports announcers refer to certain quarterbacks as “gunslingers”? They’re throwing footballs, not drawing down on Wyatt Earp. And especially now, when guns are killing multiple people. YES: Guns are killing people because of the way they are set up to fire so many rounds without reloading.

Witness the shooting last week in Thousand Oaks, Calif.

Quarterbacks are not gunslingers. We need to stop stupid firearms references. Maybe – MAYBE – Bo Diddley was a gunslinger (old song reference) but Aaron Rodgers is not. He throws a football, that’s it. To my knowledge, he hasn’t shot anyone.

Oh, and so many prayers, thoughts, hearts and minds are going out to the latest victims, especially from Republican office holders who can spare those things but can’t seem to spare any votes for gun control, even for background checks.

Ugh.

I never understood the phrase “gunslinger” anyway. What? He whips the gun out of his holster and throws it at the other guy? Do they both do that or is one of them a “gunshooter”?

“Hey, you shot me.”

“Well, yup.”

“But we’re gunslingers. We’re supposed to throw ’em.”

“Not me, schmuck.”

Never made any sense.

• The Wall Street Journal has a special section called Women in the Workplace, and it’s very interesting. But why don’t they have a special section called Men in the Workplace?

You know why: Because men control most workplaces so they don’t need their own section. They ARE their own section.

It’s why Congress has a Black Congressional Caucus and not a White Congressional Caucus — because Congress is the ultimate manifestation of white power. White male power.

• Speaking of white power, Yamiche Alcindor, the White House correspondent for PBS, got it right when she insinuated that Trump calling himself a “nationalist” allowed lots of his followers to hear that as “white nationalist,” whether he meant it or not. People hear what they want to hear, and Trump knows that. Any businessman worth anything knows that and knows that words are indicators. He KNOWS.

And as president, he needn’t become confrontational. He holds all the cards and he could easily take the high road, to wit:

“Ms. Alcindor, I can see why you might hear it that way or that some people might, but I did not mean it as a racist statement. I mean that I am a ‘nationalist’ in the sense that I want to put country first, not race first. To those who might misinterpret what I said, understand that to me, as to Ms. Alcindor, the term ‘white nationalist’ is one that has a specific, dreadful, racist meaning that I don’t think the term ‘nationalist’ does.”

Nah. Trump thought it better to attack Alcindor for asking “a racist question.” Which, of course, it wasn’t.

• I have to steal this from Phil Mushnick of the New York Post: Writing about the TV announcers covering the Clemson-Louisville football game, Mushnick said: “Saturday, after Clemson’s versatile DL (defensive lineman) Christian Wilkins blocked a Louisville PAT (point after touchdown), ESPN’s Mark Jones exclaimed, “His ubiquity is so impactful!”

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” wrote Mushnick.

I have this vain and searching hope that Jones was goofing on other announcers and maybe the audience but, as is the case with Mushnick, I’m a cynic about such things. Nah, he said it ’cause he meant it.