Oh, it’s baseball season
Baseball is sporting America’s way of saying, “Don’t you have something better to do?”
Yes, I do.
Anything is better than baseball. Boring, boring, boring and, as Phil Mushnick of the New York Post constantly points out, a game of many more strikeouts than hits, a game in which no one knows how to bunt, in which the hit and run play doesn’t exist, and in which everyone tries to hit a home run because it’s just so cool to hit a home run. Bunt? That’s not cool.
No, but it’s baseball. Where is Leo Durocher when we need him?
• I have no idea what Go Daddy does or what service it provides, but I will never use it for anything, even if it were giving away free beer, because its television commercial is so odious and annoying.
And while we’re on commercials, here’s a rule: If you own a business, that doesn’t mean you’re an actor, not even a voice-over actor. Sell shoes? Stick to it. Do not make your own commercial.
Most of you have terrible voices, sometimes sound like … let’s just say you sound really bad. If your business is successful, hire an actor. If your business isn’t successful, that’s no excuse to think you’re ready for “Macbeth.”
• Here is a thought sent out by Wilton Peace Action:
“Optimism is radical. It is the HARD choice, the brave choice. And it is most needed now, in the face of despair – just as a car is most useful when there is a distance to close. Otherwise it is a large, immovable object parked in the garage.
“These days the safest way to appear intelligent is to be skeptical by default. We seem sophisticated when we say we don’t believe and disingenuous when we say we do.
“History and fable show nothing is ever entirely lost. David can take Goliath. A beach in Normandy can turn the tide of war. Bravery can topple the powerful. These facts are often seen as exceptional, but they are not. Every day we all become the balance of our choices – choices between love and fear, belief or despair. No hope is ever too small.”
I’m trying to figure out which part of this sounds most like me.
• And there’s this from the character of Josephine Newton played by Claudia Karvan in the Australian lawyer series “Newton’s Law,” replying to a colleague who said that before he became an attorney, he had worked in pest control:
“I worked in pest control, too. I waitressed in a nightclub.”
Or stood in front of Joe Biden?
• In his – ha, ha – apology, did Robert Kraft ever say for what it was he was apologizing?
“Um, I’m really sorry for, you know.”
He mentioned something about embarrassing his family but he never said how.
We all know how, of course, but shouldn’t he have been more specific?
Maybe that’s a primer for a Jussie Smollett apology:
“Um, I’m really sorry for, you know. But I didn’t do it.”
• You must have read about this, but here’s the New York Times headline anyway:
“BREAKING NEWS: Facebook was sued by the U.S. government for engaging in housing discrimination by targeting ads based on traits like race and religion.”
That’s breaking news? What? Like we’re surprised? I can’t think of anything icky that Facebook could do that I would find surprising. Yuck.
You’re still on it?
• OK, so Trump is going to close the border with Mexico. Which one? He believes everything Fox News tells him, so he must think there are three Mexicos. Unless he told Fox that, which wouldn’t be surprising.
North Mexico? Centeral Mexico? South Mexico? It’s like the National Football League’s divisions, except he can’t close any NFL borders because Robert Kraft and Tom Brady would stop liking him.
• Ever since we moved to New Hampshire I’ve been voting in Republican primaries because when we got here, Democrats could never seem to field enough candidates to have a primary and I thought voting in the GOP thingy gave me the chance to choose the lesser of their evils.
Not this primary, though. I’m switching to Democrat so I can vote for Mayor Pete Buttigieg. Yes, he’s from Indiana, a state embarrassed by having elected Mike Pence governor for God knows what reason, except maybe because they think Pence knows God (and he probably thinks he does, too.)
But Mayor Pete is incredibly impressive and has an equally impressive husband, Chasten Glezman Buttigieg, a profile of whom I recently found in Politico under the headline, “Chasten Buttigieg Is Winning the 2020 Spouse Primary.” Find it and read it. He’ll make a great First Spouse.
My daughter doesn’t think Mayor Pete can win because he’s gay, but South Bend, Ind., elected him mayor and South Bend isn’t exactly Boston, so I think there’s hope.