He is going to regret it
Ten years from now I might regret saying this but here goes anyway:
Dave Gettleman is an idiot. The general manager of the New York Giants (who play in New Jersey but, hey, it’s New Jersey) drafted quarterback Daniel Jones of Duke instead of quarterback Dwayne Haskins of Ohio State, and he is going to regret it. Washington drafted Haskins and twice a year Haskins is going to remember that the Giants passed over him for Daniel (Good God!) Jones and he is going to eat the Giants’ lunch and then demand dessert.
Worse? I hate the Washington (Racist Name) team not because of the racist name but because I hate everyone in the NFC East except the Giants, and I hate them in this order:
1. Dallas (the city that killed the president)
2. Washington (the city that supports a racist-named football team and is home to a lotta lotta lunkheads who get to decide things for you and me. They can decide things for you to their hearts’ content – although some don’t have hearts; they’re called Mitch McConnell et al – but not for me.
3. Philadelphia because … I’m not really sure. Certainly knowing that Dave Schultz played for the Flyers is reason enough to hate Philadelphia and that Bobby Clarke, who played for the Flyers, is Satan’s evil twin, is probably reason enough but …
Speaking of Philadelphia, taking down the statue of Kate Smith was stupid. Yeah, she sang a couple of racist songs 90 years ago but as Phil Mushnick of the New York Post pointed out last week, if we continue to go back in time to punish people like that, well, gotta rename the Walt Whitman Bridge between New Jersey and Pennsylvania because he hated Catholics.
And can the Yankees, who dumped Smith’s version of “God Bless America,” continue to accept certain forms of paper money when they contain pictures of racists like George Washington, a fine upstanding slave owner? Mushnick, and I, wonder.
• So, if I had an Instagram account, I could fake a vacation? Apparently people are doing this. According to the New York Post – the tabloid that never lies – a Nebraska photo-editing service lets users send in snapshots to have them superimposed onto fake backgrounds.
“Look, there’s Marty at the Taj Mahal. I thought they made him turn in his passport.”
This looks like a real cool way to impress your friends or, better, the snobby cretins across the street who are always going to foreign lands and having fun and not getting arrested, but having fun anyway.
For all you know, your neighbors have been faking it all these years. Maybe this Nebraska place isn’t the first to have the idea. Maybe Herb and Marge, the snobby cretins across the street, came up with the idea first, but instead of using Instagram, they just cut pictures out of magazines and pasted pictures of themselves in those pictures.
“Yes, here we are, Marge and I, with Neil Armstrong on the moon.”
I don’t know why you never noticed but perhaps you were so busy being jealous of Herb and Marge that you couldn’t see anything except a red haze clouding your eyes.
I’d do the Instagram thing, I think, if only I knew what Instagram was. And I don’t want to learn. I’ll just follow the lead of Herb and Marge and cut things out of magazines, paste in my picture and hope your vision and intellect are clouded by a red haze.
• Here’s another New York Post story that is of absolutely no importance except for the headline:
“Meet glamorous brunette behind Venezuelan opposition leader Juan Guaido.”
Here’s what I wonder, and I know you do, too: Why is it, in headlines, that only women are “glamorous” or “brunette” or (much better) “blonde”?
Why not this:
“Meet reasonably attractive man who is married to Elizabeth Warren but appears to have no role in either her success or her campaign.”
It’s the “reasonably attractive” part that is of issue, of course, but I think if you look at the spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends of any of the presidential candidates, you’d be hard-pressed to scream “glamorous,” with the exception of Pete Buttigieg’s husband Chasten Glezman who … OK, maybe glamorous is pushing it, but he is cute, you gotta admit.
Of course, Kamala Harris was dating Willie Brown, the former speaker of the California State Asssembly and mayor of San Francisco. And while I would never call Willie glamorous, he was pretty darn cool. and it’s a pity Harris isn’t still with him because if she and Buttigieg were the last Democrats standing and it came down to a spousal debate, Willie vs. Chasten might be fun. For an 85-year-old guy, Willie is not bad looking. But if it came down to the swimsuit contest, Chasten would have a huge edge.
• OK, here’s something weird: I have a TV antenna – no dish, no cable – and I get a lot of Boston channels including channel 15, which is NBC but also channel 15-2 which is something called Cozi that shows old TV shows including Peter Falk’s “Columbo” and the other day I caught one called “Murder by the Book” and it was directed by Steven Spielberg in 1971, four years before “Jaws.”
See the stuff you learn if you don’t pay for television?
• Our friends at Wilton Peace Action sent this to me:
“From Honduras to NH: One Family’s Story
“This is a wonderful opportunity to hear a first hand account of fleeing Honduras and seeking asylum in the USA. Harrowing, heartbreaking, and hopeful. Please join us for the first forum in our series on immigration issues and personal accounts. Compelling, real stories from your neighbors here in NH.
“WHO: Frances and her family tell their amazing story of escape from Honduras. Despite dangers and separation, they are reunited now in NH and preparing for their asylum hearing. (Special guests also include Bill Briggs of Honduras Hope and Ron Abramson of Immigration+ Solutions.)
“WHEN: Saturday, May 11 from 1:30-4 p.m.. Greeting and refreshments at 1:30. Program starts at 2. Childcare available.
“WHERE: Concord Friends Meeting House in Canterbury, 11 Oxbow Pond Road, Canterbury.
“WHY: Because we care. Deeply.
“Need more info and a link: https://www.facebook.com/events/2252440838146367/
“This event is sponsored by Kent Street Coalition, CC4D, and Wilton NH Peace Action.”
Keep up the good work, folks.
• As candidates continue to stream into New Hampshire, let us ponder this from Ken Follett’s “A Column of Fire”:
“Changing your beliefs with every change of monarch was called ‘policy,’ and people who did it were “politicians.”